dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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