Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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