so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
