I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so let's talk penis.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
