Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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