saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
my liver is dry heaving
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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