Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
