it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize