why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
