It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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