why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
