I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
