did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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