You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
