in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
