If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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