So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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