My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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