I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
