He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
