I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
