My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
