so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
