this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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