Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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