Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
