I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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