Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
