She's JV to your varsity
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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