just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize