also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
