Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
bring money and cleavage
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
