if i can run in heels then i can drive
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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