just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
