Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
