She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
