I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
