what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
