he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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