How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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