erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
