Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
