The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
