So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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