listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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