I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
