We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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