The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
