glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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