Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize