Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize