You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
