ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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