I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
