You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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