It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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