that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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