I want to stick my p in your. b.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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