I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I want a musical about memes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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