Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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