Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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