it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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