he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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