Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
