Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
