Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
